The holidays: a time for joyful gatherings, laughter, and, ideally, delicious homemade meals. But for many, the reality can be quite different. Tears shed over a failed Thanksgiving recipe, arguments sparked by a dropped cake – these scenarios are far more common than we like to admit. Beyond the holidays, depression, anxiety, and other mental illnesses can significantly impact our ability to prepare and enjoy food, leaving us feeling overwhelmed and depleted. This is where Margaret Eby’s new book, *You Gotta Eat: Real-Life Strategies for Feeding Yourself When Cooking Feels Impossible*, steps in as a much-needed lifeline.
Eby, the Philadelphia Inquirer’s deputy food editor, understands this struggle firsthand. In a recent interview with Vogue, she shared her personal journey, revealing that even someone who typically derives joy from experimental cooking (chili crisp and pretzel croquembouche, anyone?) can experience periods where the simplest act of eating feels insurmountable. Her book, born from a conversation with her editor, isn’t your typical glossy cookbook. Instead, it’s a compassionate guide offering recipes, tips, and encouragement for anyone who finds cooking challenging, regardless of the reason.
‘You Gotta Eat’ goes beyond providing easy recipes (because ‘easy’ is subjective, depending on access to ingredients, time constraints, and energy levels). Eby tackles the systemic pressures that make cooking feel like an impossible task for many. She highlights the unrealistic expectations set by food media – obsessed with the ‘best’ way to do things, often overlooking the individual’s circumstances. She eloquently challenges the Eurocentric, white supremacist, patriarchal norms often embedded in traditional cooking approaches. Eby argues that there’s no one ‘right’ way to cook or eat; a concept particularly crucial for those facing mental health challenges.
The book directly addresses the pervasive anxieties surrounding food: gender roles, classism, diet culture, environmental concerns, and more. Eby emphasizes that it’s okay to prioritize survival and that not every meal needs to be a culinary masterpiece. She champions the concept of ‘struggle meals’ or ‘girl dinners,’ suggesting that the judgment we reserve for home-cooked meals is often absent in social settings. This idea is key to breaking free from the unrealistic expectations many of us place on ourselves.
Eby’s book is filled with practical hacks and shortcuts, celebrating improvisation and resourcefulness. She recounts her own experiences of turning limited ingredients into creative meals, often drawing inspiration from the often-misunderstood culinary philosophy of stoner cuisine. It’s about embracing the weirdness and finding joy in the process, even if it means a quick mug cake with readily available ice cream instead of a meticulously crafted dessert.
The positive response to *You Gotta Eat* has been particularly heartwarming for Eby. The fact that dieticians and therapists have embraced the book’s approach, and that it resonates within fat-positive communities, underscores the profound need for a more compassionate and accessible approach to food and cooking. It’s a testament to Eby’s success in creating a book that not only provides practical solutions but also offers a much-needed message of self-acceptance and permission to simply get by, even when joy feels out of reach. The book ultimately serves as a powerful reminder that nourishing oneself is a journey, not a race, and that there is absolutely no wrong way to feed ourselves.
