15 Totally Awkward Moments That’ll Remind You Never To Assume Anything
Always take a beat before speaking or hitting send.
1. This person who accused dear Mack’s hair of being too long when he is actually missing eyes:
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2. This person who didn’t take a moment to consider anything before they accused this love interest of fooling around:
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3. This person who never learned they shouldn’t judge, among other things:
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“I went to Walmart while taking a break from painting the nursery. I was fairly spattered in paint and trying to pick out a pizza. I heard a lady tell her kid ‘That is why you go to school so you don’t have a job like that.’ There are layers to how messed up that was — not the least of which is that house painters can make pretty decent money.”
4. This person who made this very wrong assumption:
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5. This husband who told his wife all interior door frames were the same size and found out the hard way they were not:
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6. And this husband who assumed his wife was only texting him directly:
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“My wife texted me asking what I wanted for dinner. I had forgotten that we were having the family over for dinner that night. I sent her a pic of my gentleman veggies and asked her if she wanted that for dinner. I sent it to her entire family because I neglected to see it was a group text. I thought about driving into oncoming traffic that night on my way home from work.”
7. This person who thought it was fine to call someone “baby” and then made up this excuse when it wasn’t:
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8. This Uber driver who felt it was okay to hit on this stranger after they dropped them off:
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9. This person who assumed grabbing dinner meant they scored an intimate date:
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10. And this whole accidental exchange where a person’s mom shouldn’t have assumed this was a question that needed to be answered:
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“I was drunk and I thought I was sending Monica the text, ‘So, what color panties are you wearing?.’ Instead, I sent it to my mom… Her reply three minutes later, ‘Black.’ We have never spoken of this.”
11. This dealer who shouldn’t take it as a given that people can’t do their own research when buying cars:
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12. This person who shouldn’t have assumed they knew what all hand gestures meant:
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“3 years ago, a cute guy I worked with wanted to give me a fist bump…I thought he was pretending to hold an invisible microphone so I leaned forward and said hello”
13. And this person who shouldn’t have been so certain that avocados were attacking them:
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“Friend has been complaining about finding an avocado on his lawn every day for weeks now. Why would someone keep throwing avocados in his yard? Who would do that? You guys he just realized he has an avocado tree”
14. This person’s mom who should have thought twice before serving up the worst type of assumption — pregnancy:
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“An old friend’s mom runs into me at the mall and I haven’t seen her in a few. I’m a little chunko with bad posture and I was slouching weird with both hands on my belly in a way that would suggest I’m holding the life inside of me (I have IBS so ina way that’s accurate). Cue her gasping and asking if I’m pregnant. I immediately straighten up and take my hands off my mindsection and laugh and say, ‘No, I’m just fat.’ Only slightly offended.”
15. And, finally, this person who shouldn’t assume Barb won’t be accepting of constructive criticism about her lasagna…:
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Because life is too shorty for shitty lasagna:
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