## 6 Early Warning Signs Your Marriage Might Be In Trouble (And What To Do About It)
Marriage is a beautiful journey, but it’s not always smooth sailing. While divorce rates are on the decline, understanding the subtle signs of marital stress can be crucial in navigating the inevitable challenges. James Brien, a leading divorce expert and author of ‘The Real Man’s Guide to Divorce’ and ‘The Mindful Divorce: How to Heal and be Happy After Separation,’ highlights six early warning signs that could indicate trouble brewing in your relationship.
1. The Silence Speaks Volumes: Communication Breakdown
One of the most telling signs of a struggling marriage is a decline in communication. When you stop asking about each other’s days, stop listening attentively, or simply don’t feel the need to share, it’s a significant red flag. “A solid marriage is built on being able to open up and talk things through,” says Brien. “When this starts to slide, it’s crucial to get things back on track quickly. Over time, a lack of communication can lead to emotional disconnect.”
2. From Warmth to Resentment: A Shift in Emotional Connection
If you notice a shift in your emotional connection, where warmth and love have been replaced by resentment, sarcasm, and a general feeling of coldness, it’s time to pay attention. “Often, people in unhappy relationships become emotionally disconnected,” explains Brien. “If there was once mutual respect and now there’s sarcasm and eye rolls every time you talk, it might be time to seek professional help from a counsellor.”
3. Feeling Unseen and Unsupported: The Weight of Unmet Needs
Every couple needs to feel supported by their partner, whether it’s with practical tasks like childcare or household chores, or emotional support. “Couples need to feel as if their needs are being met,” says Brien. “If you feel as if you’re picking up all the chores while the other sits around doing nothing, resentment can creep in.” It’s essential to openly communicate your needs and work together to find solutions that foster a sense of balance and shared responsibility.
4. The Fading Glow: A Loss of Intimacy
While “normal” levels of intimacy vary greatly between couples, a significant decline in physical or emotional closeness can indicate a deeper issue. “It’s important to speak to your partner about your needs and re-establish a connection if it has been lost over time,” advises Brien. He emphasizes that intimacy can encompass many forms, from holding hands and cuddling to more traditional marital activities. The key is to be open and honest with each other about what you need to feel close and connected.
5. No Shared Dreams: A Lack of Future Plans
Happy couples tend to share a vision for the future, whether it’s grand travel plans or simply enjoying retirement together. “If you stop making plans together, it’s worth examining whether your future goals still align,” says Brien. A lack of shared aspirations can signify a growing disconnect and a lack of shared purpose.
6. The Grass is Always Greener: Fantasizing About Other Possibilities
When problems arise in a marriage, it’s tempting to imagine other scenarios, even if those are just fleeting fantasies. However, if you find yourself constantly thinking about what else might be out there, it’s a strong indicator that you’re not happy in your current relationship. “When problems arise in a marriage, it can be tempting to look at other options,” cautions Brien. “But if you find yourself constantly thinking about what else might be on offer then that’s a strong sign things are going in the wrong direction.”
Taking Action
Remember, identifying these warning signs isn’t about panicking. It’s about taking a proactive approach to strengthen your relationship. Open communication, understanding, and a willingness to address issues head-on are essential. If you notice any of these signs, don’t hesitate to seek professional help from a marriage counsellor or therapist. Early intervention can often prevent minor problems from escalating into major issues, making a significant difference in the longevity and happiness of your marriage.
