It’s ironic that I, who pride myself on being a great date, am considered a ‘red flag’ in the dating world. I’m punctual, interested in my dates, and financially independent. So why does one-fifth of the UK population view me as a potential hazard? It’s simply because I’m gluten-free.
For me, being gluten-free isn’t a choice but a medical necessity. Celiac disease is an autoimmune condition where my body attacks its own tissues when gluten is consumed, damaging my gut and preventing nutrient absorption. If I don’t adhere to a gluten-free diet, I face an increased risk of developing serious cancers.
Dating with celiac disease has been a challenge. According to research, a third of Brits would avoid inviting a gluten-free person for dinner, a quarter would ask them to bring their own food, and over half don’t know how to cook for us. These statistics paint a discouraging picture for someone like me who simply wants to share a meal with a potential partner.
The most blatant act of disrespect I faced was when a date poured beer over my head and into my mouth, disregarding my explanation that I have celiac disease. Such incidents have left me feeling violated and questioning my worthiness.
On dating apps like Tinder and Hinge, I’ve learned to avoid mentioning my condition until it’s unavoidable. But when it comes to meeting for dinner, I’m forced to disclose my dietary restrictions, which often leads to generic responses like ‘your life must be so miserable’ or ‘I’d rather just eat gluten.’ Inevitably, I end up having to book the restaurant myself, as potential dates refuse to put in the effort to find gluten-free options.
However, I’ve also encountered considerate partners, including my current boyfriend, who went above and beyond to accommodate my needs. He consulted with a gluten-free co-worker for restaurant recommendations and took me to a Vietnamese chain with a menu almost entirely free of gluten.
Yet, even with a supportive partner, there’s the additional hurdle of meeting his parents. Explaining my dietary restrictions and the necessary precautions can be overwhelming, and it can feel like I’m being ungrateful for their efforts.
Dating with celiac disease requires patience and understanding from both parties. It’s not a difficult condition to accommodate, but it does require a willingness to make adjustments. If someone is unwilling to do that, perhaps they’re the one who should be considered a ‘red flag.’
