We’ve all heard it said that birth order can play a significant role in shaping personality traits. But where did this theory originate, and is there any truth to it? With TikToks exploring the concept going viral, it’s an excellent time to dive into the world of birth order theory and discover what your position in the family lineup might mean.
The roots of birth order theory can be traced back to the early 20th century when Austrian psychologist Alfred Adler, heavily influenced by Freud, introduced the concept of the “family constellation.” Adler proposed that children from the same family develop specific personalities, strengths, and weaknesses based on their birth order. He emphasized that while a shared home provides common experiences, each child’s psychological situation is unique due to their position within the family.
According to Adler, firstborn children are likely to exhibit certain traits. They often become neurotic, feeling the need to share their parents’ attention once a sibling arrives. They are also known for being dutiful, perfectionistic, and relatively conventional or conservative compared to their siblings. A 2015 study by psychologist Rodica Damian found that firstborn children tend to have a slight IQ advantage over their younger siblings, offering a small consolation for the challenges of being the eldest.
Middle children, according to Adler, might experience lower self-esteem than their older or younger siblings due to receiving less emotional or financial support from their parents. However, they may also achieve greater emotional stability and develop strong bonds outside of the family unit. Adler suggested that middle children might struggle to find their place or become champions of justice, influenced by their position between older and younger siblings. (Fun celebrity fact: Bella Hadid is a middle child!)
Adler viewed youngest children as more likely to develop rebellious, outgoing, or extroverted personality traits. This may be a way for them to “catch up” or differentiate themselves from their older siblings. In adulthood, youngest children might exhibit a desire to surpass others or have grand plans that ultimately don’t pan out. (Amy March burning her older sister Jo’s manuscript in Little Women? That’s classic youngest-child behavior according to strict birth order theory, but then again, so was running off to Europe to paint – highlighting the potential for both negative and positive traits associated with this birth order.)
Why is birth order theory suddenly everywhere? TikTok deserves the credit for this resurgence. The phrase “birth order dating theory” has become a popular topic among users seeking to understand the role birth order might play in romantic relationships. The hashtag #birthorder has garnered over 500 million views on the platform, demonstrating its widespread appeal. While speculative, some conclusions have proven fascinating. For example, relationship coach @iammichailatyson, an eldest daughter, realized that she had only been in relationships with men who had older sisters. She explained in a video that it made sense she gravitated towards such men, often seeking motherly figures, and she unintentionally assumed that role in her relationships. Other users like @t0nit0ne have analyzed the compatibility of different birth order pairings. (Hint: A firstborn with a lastborn is often deemed more compatible than two firstborns. You’ve been warned!)
While birth order theory offers interesting insights into potential personality patterns, it’s essential to remember that it’s a complex subject. Individual experiences, environmental factors, and personal choices also play a significant role in shaping who we are. It’s crucial to approach birth order theories with a critical eye, recognizing that they are not deterministic but rather provide a framework for understanding some of the nuances of family dynamics and personality development.
