When Sophie and Matt Holdsworth decided to renovate their Essex home, they were initially filled with excitement. They had diligently saved, negotiated for the best deals, and even chosen their kitchen based on an offer with three years of interest-free credit. They purchased the property in 2022 with the goal of modernizing it, and after spending almost two years collaborating with an architect, finally started work in February 2024. However, as the costs began to exceed their budget, stress crept into their relationship. With a baby on the way, the escalating expenses and extended construction timeline added to the pressure. Sophie candidly shares, “Despite our efforts to keep costs down, the build costs ended up being 50% more than had originally been quoted. With our baby on the way, costs up and builders in our home longer than expected, tensions were high. The stress and cost of renovating took a toll on our relationship.”
For Sophie and Matt, both 34 and 33, managing the ever-growing budget was the biggest source of stress. Sophie notes, “Prioritizing where to spend big or save often took some negotiation as we have different ideas about what’s important.” The project was originally slated for completion in early May but faced delays, pushing the finish date to July – Sophie’s due date. Sophie recounts, “The baby arrived five days after the builders left. It made the last few weeks of the pregnancy much more stressful than we would have liked because we were adamant it needed to be finished before the baby arrived. Instead of nesting, we were managing tradespeople coming in and out.”
Sadly, Sophie and Matt’s experience isn’t unique. New research from Novuna Personal Finance highlights the toll home renovation projects are taking on couples. Nearly one in five (19%) homeowners reported that a home improvement project had made them seriously consider splitting up, or had even led to separation. The study pinpoints the most common sources of conflict: lack of storage space (32%), outdated kitchens (27%), and cramped bedrooms (19%). A mere 39% of homeowners felt relaxed in their homes due to the issues they faced. Even more alarmingly, 7% confessed that renovation-related disagreements were the final straw that ended their relationships.
This trend was particularly pronounced among Gen Zs and Millennials. A staggering 38% of 25-35-year-olds admitted to nearly breaking up with their partner during a home makeover, with 18% ultimately unable to reconcile their differences. Location also plays a role, with London experiencing the highest levels of relationship strain due to renovations. A whopping 39% of Londoners reported either nearly splitting up or actually separating due to renovation challenges. In contrast, only 14% of those in the North West reported similar experiences.
Novuna’s research delves deeper into the specific issues couples face during renovations. Money reigns supreme as the biggest factor (28%), followed by clashing priorities (19%). A further 16% confessed to underestimating the project’s completion time. However, there’s a silver lining for those who persevere. A remarkable 81% of couples who completed their renovations reported finding it worth the effort. Interestingly, 14% even noted experiencing fewer arguments with their spouses after the renovations were finished.
Despite the initial turmoil, Sophie and Matt emerged from the emotional rollercoaster of renovating their home and becoming new parents. Sophie reflects, “We had to keep at the back of our mind that short-term pain and stress would be worth it for our dream family home, which we couldn’t have afforded without buying a project house. It was tough, but it was absolutely worth it.” They now enjoy their new home and find the space more harmonious and relaxing as a result of their hard work.
Sophie offers valuable advice for couples embarking on a similar journey. “Iron out the details of costs and timings beforehand and, where possible, make sure to select builders you get along with. It may be chaos for a while, but it’s so worth it in the end.” Ultimately, while home renovations can present a significant challenge for couples, they can also be a rewarding experience that strengthens relationships and creates a beautiful and functional space for families to thrive.
