## The Secret Sex Fantasies of Women: Exploring the Complexities of Rape Fantasies
Gillian Anderson’s latest book, ‘Want,’ delves into the often-hidden world of women’s sexual desires. One of the most provocative and debated sections explores the phenomenon of rape fantasies. While the idea of finding pleasure in the thought of being forced to have sex might seem shocking at first, Anderson’s book, along with previous works like Nancy Friday’s ‘My Secret Garden,’ aims to normalize these often secret desires.
But how can being raped ever be considered sexy? Many women who have these fantasies themselves question the very notion, recognizing it goes against their core beliefs. This is where understanding the nuances of these fantasies becomes crucial.
The Two Types of Rape Fantasies
Psychosexual therapist Ness Cooper explains that rape fantasies can be categorized into two distinct types: those that elicit erotic feelings and those that trigger aversion, meaning they don’t actually turn the person on. While extreme fantasies can be arousing, they can also be deeply distressing.
The brain’s ability to process these conflicting emotions separately may explain why some people can accept rape fantasies solely as erotic, separating the fantasy from their real-life values.
A Fantasy of Control
It’s essential to remember that these fantasies are entirely in the realm of the imagination, allowing the individual complete control over the narrative. They are consenting to the events unfolding in their minds, even if the imagined scenario removes choice in the fantasy.
In ‘Want,’ a disabled American woman reveals her fantasy of being sexually objectified while incapacitated and unable to consent. This underscores the complex nature of these desires, highlighting how they can reflect a disconnect between a woman’s real-life values and the desires that emerge in the realm of fantasy.
Beyond the Taboo
While these fantasies may be disturbing if experienced in reality, they hold a distinct purpose in the realm of imagination. Anderson herself emphasizes this distinction, arguing that these fantasies explore power dynamics and female agency within the realm of imagination. In the fantasy, the woman is in control of the narrative and can dictate how her body is treated.
Research suggests that the prevalence of these fantasies is surprisingly high, with over half of women reporting experiencing them. The study, published in the Journal of Sex Research in 2009, even found that 16% of women reported experiencing these fantasies at least once a week.
Unraveling the Psychology
The prevalence of rape fantasies can be partially attributed to the correlation between risk and eroticism. This concept, known as arousal theory, suggests that danger can lead to heightened arousal, which can sometimes be linked to eroticism.
However, it’s crucial to avoid victim-blaming, as trauma survivors may experience these fantasies as a coping mechanism. The brain may go into survival mode, attempting to numb distressing aspects of a traumatic experience by focusing on pleasurable elements.
Normalizing Complex Desires
While some rape fantasies may stem from past trauma, others might simply be a random combination of thoughts that trigger arousal. It’s important to normalize the existence of these fantasies without automatically attributing them to deep-seated psychological issues.
Gillian Anderson’s ‘Want’ offers a valuable platform for exploring the diverse and often complex world of women’s sexuality. By shedding light on the often-hidden world of rape fantasies, the book encourages open dialogue, empathy, and understanding, moving away from judgment and toward a greater appreciation for the intricate complexities of the human psyche.