Ben and Mitch met in 2006 and began discussing the idea of adding a third person to their relationship a few years later. They found their perfect match in Benjamin on a gay cruise in 2018. The trio now share the same last name after getting spiritually married and have welcomed two children into their family: Tegan, a two-year-old adopted daughter, and Bowie, a six-month-old surrogate son. Benjamin and Mitch are currently the legal parents of Tegan and Bowie, but the throuple is in the process of getting Ben recognized as a legal father as well. All three fathers share baby duties equally and sleep in the same bed, with a rotation of which partner looks after Bowie. Ben says this arrangement ‘really works’ for their family. They have not received any negative comments about their relationship, even when enrolling Tegan into a traditional Methodist preschool. The staff was very ‘open minded’ and welcoming. Ben, Mitch, and Benjamin are now planning to launch their own surrogacy and adoption consultancy to help other throuples have a ‘good experience’ like them. They have received numerous messages from polyamorous people asking for advice and hope to create a pathway for others to have similar opportunities. After deciding to start a family, they had little success with an adoption agency. In December 2021, they hired a website developer and lawyer to advertise themselves as a throuple looking to adopt. They began receiving 30 to 40 inquiries from women each week and found Tegan in March 2022. In December 2023, they welcomed Bowie into their lives through a surrogacy agency in Mexico. The surrogacy process was less expensive than it would have been in the US, and the agency was very open-minded and supportive. Throughout 2022, Mitch and Benjamin provided sperm, and Benjamin’s sperm resulted in a positive pregnancy test with an anonymous donor’s egg in March 2023. Near the due date, they all moved to Mexico City for about two months to sort out the paperwork and be near the surrogate. Their priority now is to ensure that all three fathers are mentioned on their children’s birth certificates, providing ‘security in the future’ for Tegan and Bowie. They share their family life on Instagram under the handle @gaythrouple, offering relationship advice and tips on starting a family as a trio.
A Throuple’s Journey: From Spiritual Marriage to Legal Recognition for All Three Fathers
