I’ve enjoyed reading your columns, and now I find myself in a situation that has turned my world upside down. My girlfriend and I were together for 12 years, and those years were filled with challenges. The last two years in particular were a living hell; she had a medical procedure that changed her life. In February, I went away on a business trip, and while I was away, she decided to move in with someone she met on Instagram. They sent me a video text of them being intimate on Valentine’s Day, which sent shockwaves through me. The diamond I planned to propose with in August is now nothing more than an empty box. I’ve been with her through thick and thin, through illness and other life-altering events. Now I’m a shell of my former self, barely leaving my apartment except for groceries and church. I’ve taken a leave of absence from work to try to process this, but I can’t shake the pain of what she’s done to me. I managed to write her a thank you card for our time together, but of course, I haven’t heard back. If she had wanted to end our relationship, an adult conversation would have sufficed, but instead, I’m left with this cruel twist of fate. Why are people so heartless towards each other? This is the first time I’ve ever heard of someone sending an intimate video of themselves with a new partner to an ex. I’d be fascinated to know her reasons for doing so. Was it an act of cruelty? Her way of forcing me to let go? Did she accidentally hit send? (On a side note, I didn’t realize it took so long to get a diamond ring; how far in advance do you have to order one?) Here’s the harsh truth: This breakup is devastating, life-changing, and excruciatingly painful. But it also marks the end of a complex and challenging 12-year chapter in your life. Try to imagine a life without the trials and tribulations of this particular relationship. Could a new chapter be an opportunity for… joy? Fulfillment? A chance to focus on yourself? This is a time for you to envision what a truly happy life could look like. More time for movies? Travel? Reading? You are the protagonist of your own story now, and you have the power to create a new and different beginning. Fill your days with activities that bring you joy. Seek professional therapy to help you navigate this painful time, especially while you have a break from work. Allow yourself to grieve, but then gradually establish a new routine. Don’t let sadness prevent you from writing a new love story, one where you put yourself first. It’s not about her anymore.
Agonizing Video Ends a Relationship of 12 Challenging Years
