In recent years, the world of dating has witnessed an explosion of new terms and concepts, making it difficult to stay abreast of the latest lingo. One such term that has gained prominence is “breadcrumbing.”
Breadcrumbing is a practice where an individual engages in intermittent communication with another person, offering small gestures of attention without committing to a romantic relationship. It’s like ghosting but with a twist: instead of completely cutting off contact, the individual may periodically reach out, leaving the recipient confused and questioning their intentions.
Psychologists explain breadcrumbing as a form of intermittent reinforcement, similar to the behavior observed in gambling. Just as a gambler experiences occasional wins, keeping them hooked on the possibility of a big payout, breadcrumbers provide sporadic attention, sustaining the hope of a genuine connection.
Examples of breadcrumbing can be found in popular culture. Rachel Bloom’s CW series “Crazy Ex-Girlfriend” featured a song about “love kernels,” where the object of obsession would provide just enough attention to keep the protagonist interested. Similarly, Big’s treatment of Carrie throughout much of “Sex and the City” could be considered a form of breadcrumbing, as he would pursue her sporadically despite their complicated relationship status.
Breadcrumbing can have detrimental emotional effects on the recipient. It creates a cycle of unpredictability, leaving them feeling confused and questioning their own worth. To break free from breadcrumbing, it’s crucial to establish boundaries and cut off contact with the individual responsible. While it may be difficult, prioritizing one’s mental and emotional well-being should be the top priority.
If you find yourself in a breadcrumbing situation, here’s a script you can use to end the cycle: “I’ve given this a lot of thought and decided that any further contact between us would not be beneficial to my growth. Please respect my boundary and do not call/text/message/contact me in person or on social media. Thank you.”
