Gluten-free wedding guest: Am I being too fussy to expect food options?
I’ve got a problem that may seem common, but to me is utterly bizarre. My cousin Julie is getting married, and isn’t doing a sit-down meal but serving snack-type food throughout the day of her wedding. I’m fine with that, but the issue is I’m gluten-free for health reasons, and the invite that my Julie and her partner sent out makes clear that there will be *no* gluten-free options available on the day.
To be honest, it was a complete shock – I’m used to having to go ‘off-menu’ or plan my wedding meals far in advance, but I’ve genuinely never just been entirely not catered for. What was more shocking was Julie’s response, when I told her that I was unsure I could even attend the wedding as I wasn’t able to go that long without food, she simply said, ‘well, why don’t you just order a takeaway to the venue.’
That was strange enough, but she then insisted that if I did go for that option, I’d have to eat it in my room as the venue wouldn’t allow outside food.
I’ve asked my mum if I’m within my rights to kick up a bit of a fuss or try and go over Julie’s head to the venue, but she says I’m making too much of it and I shouldn’t be so selfish. What should I do?
Here are some suggestions to consider to help solve your dilemma:
– It might be worth having another conversation with Julie. Ask her to clarify what is provided on the wedding day and which foods are gluten-free. Maybe only one or two items contain gluten and she isn’t aware that gluten isn’t in all foods.
– Find out details on the menu well before the wedding, so you can make alternative arrangements if needed.
– Is the venue unwilling to cater to gluten-free requirements because they think it’s a severe allergy, or are they not prepared to risk providing gluten-free foods because their kitchen has wheat present? It’s unusual for a wedding venue to strictly not cater to special dietary requirements but that is usually down to the severity of the allergy.
– Depending on how sensitive you are to gluten cross-contamination, it might be worth asking Julie if you can speak to the venue directly. You could also offer to bring your own gluten-free snacks or meals. Ask Julie if there is any place for you to store your food and offer to bring cold snacks that do not require heating so that you will eat in a similar style to the rest of the guests.
– You could also try to find out if there are other gluten-free guests. Could you volunteer to help find gluten-free catering options? This proactive approach shows that you’re willing to help find a solution rather than just pointing out the problem.
– I would suggest you speak to the venue directly to ascertain the best way to find solutions to accommodate you and your diet – with Julie’s permission, of course. Venues tend to be accommodating when they understand the specific requirements and the importance of health-related dietary restrictions.
– If they still can’t help, research nearby restaurants or cafes that offer gluten-free options and see if you can step out briefly to grab something to eat during the day. This way, you can still attend most of the event without going hungry.
– If all else fails, consider attending the ceremony and critical parts of the reception but leaving later in the afternoon. This way, you can show your support and presence without enduring a long day without food.
Remember, you are not selfish to want to be accommodated for a legitimate health concern. Your wellbeing should be your priority, and if you feel that attending the wedding without proper food options will negatively impact your health, it is OK to decline the invitation.
Send a thoughtful gift and a heartfelt message to Julie explaining your situation. Hopefully, you and Julie can find a way around this so that you can enjoy her wedding day.
