Identifying Toxic Friends: A Psychologist’s Guide
Maintaining healthy friendships is crucial for our well-being, but sometimes we encounter toxic individuals who drain our energy and cause harm. Psychologist Dr. Marisa G. Franco has identified 8 phrases that indicate toxic behavior in friends:
1.
’You’re too sensitive’
This phrase is often used to dismiss your feelings and invalidate your experiences.
2.
’It’s just a joke’
This is a common excuse for making hurtful or disrespectful remarks.
3.
’You’re lucky to have a friend like me’
This is a manipulative attempt to make you feel obligated to them.
4.
’You owe me’
Keeping score in friendships creates an unhealthy dynamic and can lead to resentment.
5.
’I miss the old you’
This phrase implies that you have changed for the worse, potentially making you feel guilty or inadequate.
6.
’I wonder how you got the promotion’
This is a subtle form of belittling or envy that can damage your self-esteem.
7.
’I’m sorry you feel that way’
This phrase avoids taking responsibility for their actions and can leave you feeling isolated.
8.
Nothing (ignoring or ghosting)
Complete silence or avoidance is a clear indication of toxic behavior.
However, Dr. Franco emphasizes that using any of these phrases individually does not necessarily indicate a toxic friendship. It is important to consider the overall dynamics of the relationship and ask yourself questions like:
* Do they show up when you need them?
* Do you balance each other’s needs?
* Do they bring out the best in you?
If your friend consistently says these phrases and you feel emotionally drained or manipulated, it may be time to evaluate the relationship. Consider having an honest conversation, setting boundaries, or even distancing yourself from the toxic individual.
