Raised in the heart of the Mormon Church, Alyssa Grenfell found herself grappling with doubts and a sense of unease within the faith she had known all her life. The teachings on personal revelation and the church’s history left her questioning, and the stringent guidelines governing sex and relationships felt oppressive.
In 2017, at the age of 23, Alyssa made the life-altering decision to leave the Mormon Church. Her journey was marked by a mix of emotions – a sense of liberation from the constraints she had long felt, but also a strain on her relationship with her family, particularly her mother.
Alyssa’s decision to break away from the church stemmed from a combination of factors. She felt compelled to follow her own instincts rather than relying solely on the church’s teachings. The historical controversies surrounding the church, including polygamy, racism, and homophobia, also eroded her belief.
Growing up in the Mormon faith, Alyssa was subjected to strict rules governing her behavior. The Strength of Youth pamphlet outlined expectations for dress, media consumption, dating, and tithing, leaving little room for personal freedom. The emphasis on modesty, with restrictions on revealing clothing and swimwear, made her feel uncomfortable and ashamed.
The church’s teachings on sex and relationships were particularly restrictive. Premarital sex was strictly forbidden, and dating guidelines discouraged any romantic feelings before the age of 16. Alyssa felt a sense of anxiety and shame surrounding these topics, as she feared accidentally committing a sin that was considered second only to murder.
Furthermore, the church’s approach to sexuality left her with an unhealthy view of her own body. Comprehensive sex education was absent, and she had to resort to偷偷 looking up anatomical terms in a human encyclopedia to gain a basic understanding of her own biology.
Mormon weddings also followed a unique format, with a civil ceremony and a separate spiritual marriage in the temple. Alyssa’s own wedding was marked by secrecy and the absence of several of her sisters, who were deemed unworthy to attend due to their non-compliance with church rules.
Despite the challenges she faced, Alyssa has found peace and fulfillment outside the Mormon Church. She now shares her story through educational TikToks and has authored a book titled “How to Leave the Mormon Church: An Exmormon’s Guide to Rebuilding After Religion.” Her mission is to provide support and guidance to others who are navigating a similar journey of faith transition and to raise awareness about the complexities of religious upbringing and the impact it can have on individuals.
