Paper Clipping: the Latest Dating Pitfall You Need to Know About
We’re all a little older and wiser since the advent of online dating and its associated spirit-crushing trends like ghosting, breadcrumbing, and stashing. Unfortunately, despite any learning we’ve done over the years, it still hasn’t stopped us forming new toxic habits that make looking for love a real drag. The latest of these to hit our lexicon is paper clipping — and it turns out you may have fallen victim to it without even knowing.
Paper clipping is a term that refers to someone who randomly dips in and out of your life. It’s similar to ghosting, but with the added element of resurfacing every so often with a message or call. This behavior can be confusing and frustrating, and it can impact your feelings and your potential for a successful relationship with the person in the future.
There are a few different reasons why someone might end up paper clipping. It could be that they’re emotionally immature and unable to engage in a meaningful relationship. They may also be scared of being rejected, are insecure, and lack self-esteem and confidence. The landscape of online dating has also dramatically shifted how we form relationships and the expectations we put on ourselves or others in terms of respectful behavior.
So what should you do if you suspect you’re being paper clipped? According to Dr. Limor Gottlieb, a relationship psychologist, giving them a taste of their own medicine may be the best solution, as long as you’re also dating other people and ‘don’t care about being one of several people the other person is dating.’ However, she adds, ‘If you are looking for a deeper connection and ultimately want to be in a relationship with someone, my tip is to block this person – don’t waste your time, and use it to invest in meeting other people.’
A relationship should be reciprocal and make you feel good. You deserve more than being a mere option for someone, and prioritizing your own wellbeing means moving on to someone who treats you right and not letting a paper clip get you bent out of shape.
