The use of the term ‘lesbian’ on Britain’s first dating show for ‘girls who like girls’ sparked a vital conversation about language evolution and the harm it can cause. While some contestants preferred terms like ‘gay’ or ‘queer,’ Georgia, a participant on ‘I Kissed a Girl,’ ultimately reclaimed the term after acknowledging its negative connotations. This sentiment reflects a broader trend: research by Just Like Us found that 68% of lesbians fear being perceived negatively when coming out. The over-sexualization of lesbians, particularly in pornographic media, presents a significant barrier for young lesbians. This perception fuels the tendency for some lesbians to distance themselves from the word ‘lesbian,’ preferring alternative terms.
Sarah Stella Edwards, an LGBTQ+ consultant, highlights the historical misappropriation of the word, leading to stereotypes and a lack of nuanced representation. Robyn Exton, founder of Her, a dating app for LGBTQ women, emphasizes the challenges of reclaiming the word in the digital space, where search engines often prioritize pornographic content. She explains how companies like hers are actively working to combat this bias and ensure online spaces accurately reflect the diverse experiences of lesbian women.
The roots of ‘lesbian’ and ‘sapphic’ lie in Sappho of Lesbos, an ancient Greek poet whose work celebrated female love. While most of her work is lost, her legacy continues to inspire queer writers and provide a historical foundation for lesbian identity. The recent surge in the use of ‘sapphic’ on Her is attributed to its inclusivity and the influence of social media platforms like TikTok.
Sabah Ahmad, a social worker, shares her personal journey of coming out as a lesbian in a strict Pakistani and Muslim household. She highlights the internalized shame and the importance of reclaiming the word. She created Lez Be United, a community group celebrating women’s football, as a platform for inclusive spaces.
Polly Shute, a partnership consultant and co-founder of Out & Wild festival, also recounts her own experience with the evolving perception of lesbian identity. She highlights how the word has been used as a slur, reinforcing negative stereotypes. However, she emphasizes the progress made through increased visibility and representation in media, particularly in shows like ‘I Kissed a Girl.’
The conversation surrounding the word ‘lesbian’ continues to evolve as individuals work to reclaim their identity and challenge harmful stereotypes. The ongoing effort to create inclusive spaces and promote accurate representation is essential for dismantling the stigma surrounding the term and fostering a more accepting society for LGBTQ+ individuals.
