Most of us will thankfully never be targeted by international assassins, kidnapped, or involved in other outlandishly dangerous situations that you might see in an action film. However, if your life was ever in danger and you could summon an action movie character to protect you, who would you choose?
There are countless options to consider, but for me, there are five easy choices I’d make when my life is on the line. These five action movie characters would be my top picks for bodyguards:
John McClane
The only John McClane I’ll settle for is Bruce Willis in his prime from the first three “Die Hard” movies. McClane isn’t a superhuman action hero who’s invulnerable to pain, at least not in the initial films. Instead, he’s just a regular guy who rises to the occasion to save the day and rescue his estranged wife from dangerous thieves pretending to be terrorists.
James Bond
007 doesn’t always have the best track record when it comes to protecting the people he loves. In “Casino Royale,” James Bond fails to save Vesper Lynd, although the mitigating circumstance was that she prevented him from doing so. Bond doesn’t have the same excuse in “Skyfall,” where he seduced Séverine and promised to protect her from Raoul Silva. Séverine was killed shortly thereafter, and all Bond had to show for it was a quip.
However, there’s nobody better to call upon if you’ve been kidnapped. Bond will move heaven and Earth to infiltrate a villain’s hideout and eliminate every henchman between him and his goal. The final bad guy inevitably dies at Bond’s hand, but as long as I make it out alive, I’m fine with it.
Jason Statham
This pick covers any character who has ever been played by Jason Statham in an action movie, because if you’ve seen one Jason Statham film, then you’ve kind of seen them all. He’s not an actor who gets hired for his emotional range. Instead, he’s spent the last two decades convincingly building his brand as one of the go-to action stars in Hollywood.
Since this is all just a thought experiment, the ideal team to handle a crisis would be a group entirely comprised of Statham’s characters. Every Statham Everywhere At Once, if you will. You could have the best getaway driver in Frank Martin from “The Transporter,” the leadership of “The Expendables'” Lee Christmas, and the unrelenting drive of Deckard Shaw from the “Fast and Furious” films.
John Wick
John Wick’s skills lie more in killing than protecting, but that’s the exact reason why he’d be a great bodyguard. Anything that Wick gets his hands on becomes a lethal weapon, and even armies of assassins haven’t been able to slow him down. He’s absolutely lethal in a fight, so much so that even the mention of John Wick’s name sends shivers of fear down the spines of anyone who knows about him.
The Terminator
When it comes to the Terminator, accept no substitutes. The T-800 model has been coming back in time for 40 years, and it still routinely outperforms more advanced models from the future. Now, it would be silly to suggest that this Terminator model is more human than its successors, but there is something about the T-800 that will never accept defeat — even if it means self-termination.
The Terminator should be the top name on anyone’s list of action movie bodyguards. He’s almost invulnerable and he rarely ceases to function before the job is finished.
