## Neurodivergent Love: Couples Share Their Experiences & Experts Explain the Attraction
The world is becoming increasingly aware of neurodiversity, celebrating the unique ways our brains work. This shift in understanding is also impacting relationships, with more couples discovering they are both neurodivergent.
Hester and Kelly Grainger, a couple from Norwich, are a prime example. Five years ago, their two children were diagnosed with autism, leading them to explore their own neurodiversity. Kelly was diagnosed with autism in his early 40s, followed by an ADHD diagnosis for both children and Hester during lockdown. This revelation led to a deeper understanding of each other, bringing their relationship to a whole new level.
“Suddenly, everything made so much sense,” Hester reflects. “Kelly can be seen as blunt when he’s not, and I talk 100 miles per hour and can’t sit still. It’s taken our relationship to another level as we just “get” each other more now.”
Hester and Kelly aren’t alone. Jo McMeechan and Alex Jay Lynam, a couple from Bristol, also navigate life with a range of neurodivergent conditions. Alex lives with ADHD, dyslexia, dyscalculia, dyspraxia, and Irlen Syndrome, while Jo has ADHD. Both are passionate about supporting others on the neurodivergent spectrum and have created support groups to foster understanding and connection.
Why are neurodivergent people drawn to each other?
Experts believe the attraction might stem from a need for understanding and shared experiences. Kate Moryoussef, an EFT and NLP practitioner, suggests that the structure and routine of autistic individuals might appeal to the more spontaneous ADHD person, and vice versa. However, navigating these differences can also present challenges, requiring patience, communication, and a willingness to learn each other’s needs.
“It’s really recognizing how you can place each of the strengths and how you can be really compassionate to that person and give them what they need,” Kate emphasizes. She highlights the importance of self-awareness, open communication, and seeking therapy to understand both individual and relational challenges.
Challenges and Opportunities
While a neurodivergent partnership can provide profound understanding and acceptance, it’s important to acknowledge the inherent challenges. Different sensory needs, executive functioning difficulties, and communication styles can sometimes lead to misunderstandings and frustrations.
However, the couples highlighted in this article emphasize the power of open communication, compromise, and understanding. By leaning into their differences and strengths, they create a unique dynamic that allows them to thrive.
A New Perspective on Relationships
The stories of these neurodivergent couples offer a refreshing perspective on relationships. They demonstrate that love and understanding can flourish even when individuals have unique neurological experiences. By embracing their neurodiversity, they not only forge stronger connections but also contribute to a more inclusive and accepting world for everyone.