Life throws curveballs. We all face challenging times, moments where hope feels distant and the weight of the world presses down. For me, those dark periods have been punctuated by the unexpected solace found in video games. While a healthy diet, stable housing, and supportive relationships are undoubtedly vital, my gratitude extends to a seemingly less significant source of strength: gaming. It’s a testament to the unexpected power of play, a force that has fundamentally shaped my life and continues to provide a lifeline during times of struggle.
One of my lowest points arrived during the winter of 2017-2018. Fresh out of college, I found myself stuck in a dead-end job, working at a warehouse and delivering sandwiches – a far cry from my aspirations. Desperate for a change, I impulsively relocated to a tiny town in southern Colorado to be closer to my siblings. This decision, in retrospect, proved disastrous. Job prospects in a town of under 20,000 were abysmal, leaving me struggling in a freezing, poorly-maintained apartment I could barely afford to heat. A debilitating hormone imbalance further compounded my misery, leaving me feeling unheard and unsupported by medical professionals. To add insult to injury, the only freelance work I managed to secure involved transcribing horrific police recordings – a constant barrage of child abuse accounts and desperate pleas for help from terrified victims. The work was soul-crushing, and I was emotionally and physically drained.
I was teetering on the brink of making a catastrophic choice, a decision that could have ended my life. Then, an email arrived, a lifeline in the form of a giveaway prize from IGN: a $100 PlayStation Network (PSN) card. Under normal circumstances, I would have never considered spending that money on a video game; food, rent, and heat were far greater priorities. But the PSN credit felt different. It allowed me to justify a purchase considered ‘non-essential’ without the gnawing guilt of neglecting my basic needs. This small act of self-indulgence unexpectedly became the catalyst for my healing.
I chose Persona 5. It wasn’t a conscious decision to combat my depression. Like many in similar situations, I was drawn to its length – an over-80-hour playtime promising immense value. The game had received rave reviews, and my love for Persona 4 fueled my anticipation, but it was the sheer scale of the game that sealed the deal. Countless articles and videos have lauded Persona 5, but my personal experience transcends simple critical acclaim. The game’s themes, characters, and narrative structure resonated deeply with my struggles. It encouraged patience, offered relatable characters, and provided engaging challenges that I could overcome. It brought smiles to my face, but more importantly, it ignited a spark of hope.
Hope that I could escape the cycle of despair. Hope that I could find and embrace my true self. Hope that this wasn’t the end. Persona 5 didn’t just entertain; it provided the emotional support and perspective I desperately needed to continue fighting, to keep going, through a period of darkness I wasn’t sure would ever end. If gaming could pull me through that abyss, I knew it could help me face future challenges.
The impact of games transcends monumental moments. I treasure the small joys, the simple acts of play that provide comfort and a sense of connection. I still remember the pure delight of discovering three Nintendo 64 games under the Christmas tree as a child, the warmth of a shared gaming experience with my brother as we played Banjo-Tooie, the comfort of escaping into a digital world whenever life felt overwhelming. Those moments, large and small, remain indelible memories, a testament to the enduring power of gaming to enhance my quality of life and mental wellbeing.
Games have become an integral part of my mental health toolkit. They offer solace, hope, and a reminder that even in the darkest times, there’s always something to look forward to, something to help us through the storms of life. This is my story, and this is why I am eternally grateful for the positive impact gaming has had on my life.
