In the midst of World Breastfeeding Week, a tragic event in Singapore brought to light the immense pressure placed on mothers to breastfeed, often at the cost of their mental well-being. The death of a 33-year-old mother and her newborn in December 2023 sent shockwaves through the community, highlighting the intense guilt and stress many mothers face in trying to meet societal expectations.
The prevailing narrative of “breast is best” can be overwhelming for mothers struggling with breastfeeding challenges. This pressure stems from various sources, including the medical system, social media, and even lactation support networks. While well-intentioned, this message often lacks nuance and tangible support, leaving mothers feeling isolated and inadequate.
Eliza Koo, an International Board Certified Lactation Consultant (IBCLC), emphasizes the need for education and support for mothers. She highlights two key misconceptions surrounding breastfeeding:
*
The myth of automatic breastfeeding:
Many believe that breastfeeding is naturally effortless, neglecting the importance of learning and practice for both mother and baby.*
Lack of awareness about support resources:
Mothers often lack knowledge about specialized breastfeeding support services, leaving them to navigate the challenges alone.Sasha Carroll, mother and community director of Wellbub, further emphasizes the detrimental impact of all-or-nothing thinking. When mothers struggle with breastfeeding, they can feel like failures, leading to immense guilt and pressure. This societal pressure, coupled with the demonization of formula feeding, creates an environment where mothers feel forced to choose between “breast is best” and “fed is best,” ignoring the reality of individual experiences and needs.
Chantel Kismet, a trauma-informed doula, stresses the importance of prioritizing a mother’s mental health. She advocates for a supportive community that embraces individual choices and recognizes the complexities of motherhood. She encourages mothers to explore their reasons for breastfeeding and prioritize their own well-being, emphasizing that formula feeding is a valid and acceptable alternative when necessary.
While Koo advocates for formula milk as a “last resort” in cases of chronic low milk supply, she acknowledges the existence of community-led donor breast milk initiatives, providing mothers with an alternative to formula.
To improve postpartum support, the article calls for a shift in societal attitudes and increased transparency about alternative feeding options. It emphasizes the importance of fostering a culture of support and understanding, recognizing the diverse experiences of mothers and their babies.
The article highlights the crucial role of qualified professionals in guiding mothers. Mothers are encouraged to seek guidance from IBCLCs and support groups like the Breastfeeding Mothers’ Support Group (BMSG) rather than relying on unqualified advice from family, friends, or other professionals.
Ultimately, the message is clear: mothers should not be made to feel like failures for their feeding choices. Prioritizing their mental well-being and providing them with comprehensive support is essential for their overall health and the well-being of their babies. For mothers struggling with postpartum anxiety or depression, the article encourages seeking help from resources like the Samaritans of Singapore Hotline, the Institute of Mental Health’s Helpline, and the Singapore Association for Mental Health Helpline.
