Navigating the early stages of motherhood can be an emotionally challenging time for many women, and unsolicited advice from well-meaning strangers can often exacerbate these difficulties. As a first-time mother struggling with breastfeeding, the author encountered numerous instances where seemingly supportive comments from others triggered feelings of inadequacy and guilt. These experiences, coupled with the intense challenges of breastfeeding, ultimately contributed to her spiral into postnatal depression.
According to a survey by PANDAS Foundation, a charity offering mental health support to parents, 70% of those surveyed who experienced mental illness postnatally were triggered by loved ones’ remarks or perceptions. 76% were triggered by societal expectations, including those of other parents (64%). This highlights the profound impact that unsolicited advice and societal pressures can have on new parents’ mental well-being.
During the postnatal period, many women experience a heightened sense of vulnerability and emotional sensitivity. They may be more susceptible to internalizing negative comments and feeling overwhelmed by the weight of expectations. It is important to approach prenatal and postpartum women with empathy and understanding, recognizing that they may not be receptive to unsolicited advice.
Instead of offering unsolicited advice, consider checking in with the individual and asking how they are doing or what they need. Simple gestures of support and reassurance can go a long way in helping new mums feel validated and less alone during this challenging transition. Remember that every individual’s experience is unique, and what may be helpful to one person may not be helpful to another. By approaching new parents with sensitivity and respect, we can create a more supportive and nurturing environment for them and their families.
